Stories from the Eagars

Well folks, I’ve not been up to much due to being immobile but getting better & feeling quite good now!  Still a bit swollen & numb but heaps better!

Have been doing the usual quiz nights etc, we even had all the kids with us at one point who formed their own team!  Went to Dreamland, which is a big water park just outside Dubai, on Wednesday with some friends & their kids & had a great day out apart from the whopping great spider ants!!!  My friend Lu is petrified of spiders so when my other friend Juls saw a HUGE ant on Lu’s head she was so busy concentrating on NOT saying spider that she ended up saying “Lu, you’ve got a GREAT BIG SPIDER on your head!!”  Well, Lu freaked but saw the funny side when Juls explained why she said what she did!!  It was one of these ‘you had to be there’ moments!!

Went out last night with a group of friends to The Noodle House at the Madinat for a girly night and had a ball!  There were 8 of us and there was mucho eating, drinking & chatting!  By the end of the night there was just me, Lorraine & Laura left so we decided we would blag a ride on one of the abra’s!  For those of you that don’t know the Madinat, it’s got a big river thingy all the way thru it & there are these abra’s (small wooden boats) that take guests only around the Madinat!  Well……obviously we were not guests but managed to blag our way onto one by pretending we were & giving a dodgy room number!  The poor abra driver took us from one end of the Madinat to the other (I think) and was giving us the whole touristy shpeel!  When we arrived at the other side we then decided we were going to the Apartment which is a club in the Jumeriah Beach Hotel.  Laura insisted….Oh it’s just a short walk….it’ll take us 5 mins, so off we trots!!  WELL…. half an hour later (or so it felt) we were STILL walking…minus shoes by this point and were passing all the REALLY posh villa’s that are part of the hotel.  We considered crashing one of them and asking for a party but decided against it and carried on walking!  We then stumbled across the security guard and Laura says “Give the bloke a random room number”  The guard was actually female but never mind… She asks if we are guests, which Lorraine & Laura say yes, and then she asks for our room number.  Laura looked at Lorraine, Lorraine looked at Me….I walked away pissing myself laughing!  Lorraine then pipes up “Laura, Whats our room number??”   At this point, Laura’s raking in her bag for the “key” and then says “I dont have the key….you do!!”  Lorraine replies ” No….I gave it to you!” to which Laura then responds “Lee’s got it….she’s in the room!!”  The guard then picks up her walkie talkie as she’s obviously thinking ‘aye right’ so Lorraine, completely stressing, says we’re going to the Apartment!  Why we didn’t say that in the 1st place I don’t know coz she just let us through anyway!!  Once we finally found the Apartment (after what seemed ANOTHER half hour walk, more blisters & filthy black feet) paid to get in & got some drinks!  Nature called and we needed to go to the loo so we trotted off to find it.  We were waiting in the queue and one toilet was pretty much silent but locked for ages and this woman said her pal was in there!  Lorraine said “Are you nae a bitty worried about her…. she’s been ages” and then commenced battering on the door.  Eventually she came out, saying everything was fine and we then went in!  We decided there were 3 options which was taking her so long….. 1: She had passed out  2: She was being sick   3: She was taking illegal substances of some sort!  Laura then ran her finger over the cistern and said “LOOK…..white powder….she’s been snorting and then launched into her ‘I did forensics and I could send it away get it analysed’ shpeel while me & Lorraine were in hysterics!!  I then spotted some more powdery looking residue beside the sink ( which was probably someone’s face powder) and told L & L and the shpeel started again!  Once we got over that, we headed back out for another drink and a boogie until the club shut!  Much fun was had and the only thing missing was the portion of chips & curry sauce at the end of the night altho we replaced that with teaching a swedish bloke how to say “PISH”

As you do 

All accounts above are factual and no liablility is held with the author of this blog for any inaccuracies due to the consumption of mucho alcohol.